It hasn’t been a secret that I have been in a funk for a while. Creatively anyway. I felt bad for mentioning it in videos and just couldn’t seem to find a way back up!
I started to dislike the content I was putting out there and just felt as though I had lost my umph. Not only that, but my channel stats had started to decrease, nothing major, but still fairly significant. I was just spiralling down. I never wrote blogs anymore. I started to hate the sight of my own website.
Something had to give.
I had decided to re-design my blog. Even though the layout of the last one was super easy to navigate, it just didn’t scream “ALY!”. So I temporarily deactivated my site and put it into maintenance mode whilst I tried to give it a massive overhaul. The process was painful. I thought taking on this project would give me the ultimate push back into my old self. But no.
Then one night, Scott and I were sat upstairs eating dinner and he peered up at my face between bites, not seeing the bright and bubbly Aly he fell in love with. But a sad, beaten, and tired girl trying so hard to find a way back out of this funk she had got herself into.
After clearing up, we walk back into our room and Scott says “I have a task for you” without turning around.
Scott continued to root around the room in search for something. Taking the maps off the wall only to realise the back wasn’t blank. I just kept thinking, what on earth is he doing?? He then pulls a roll of brown paper from the shelf and cuts it into large pieces and proceeds to blue tac them to the wall.
In the middle of one, he writes “PsychoTraveller”. He turned on his heels and says “Ideas! Go!”
So that is how it began. I forced out the tired old topics I had already covered before on my channel.
Safety. Accommodation. Transport. Jobs.
Then, out of nowhere I grab the pen from his hand and started to scribble a million ideas on the paper. Ideas I had had years ago but pushed them aside. The dopamine was rushing through my brain as all these amazing video ideas just came out.
That was the moment I fell back in love with blogging. Well, actually it isn’t. I woke up the next day to three big pieces of brown paper. Video Ideas. To Do List. Brainstorm.
I powered through emails like never before. I then took on my website. I overhauled it in 9 hours. Non-stop. I then proceeded to film 4 videos including my first skit and a hair tutorial (<coming soon).
I had no idea what had come over me. I loved it. I was feeling on top of the world. I was taking it on. I was living the dream and I had pushed out the creative block which had been bringing me down for so long. I had to start doing what I wanted to do. What made me happy.
I want to do more skits. I want to maybe branch out and do some cooking tutorials. Skin care routines? I have skin! I could do that! I spent too long thinking “Urgh, no one will like that” “Yikes, I can’t even think about how I could go about doing that” Not anymore. We will be going Psycho and doing some cool, crazy and wonderful stuff!!!
I went too hard
Ever since those crazy 48hours of filming, blog designing and being a happy Aly again, my body crashed. For the past week I have worked from bed and only left to roll in front of a camera to film. It started with a 2 day migraine and has now developed into swollen glands, severe headaches, tight throat, the works. I am rarely EVER ill but when I am you can guarantee it is due to stress. It weakens my immune system and BANG. A little bit of this and a lot of that. However, you have to keep going each and every day!
I am just extremely fortunate that I can work from bed!!
This isn’t a blog post to complain about life. I love my life. So much. I am living the dream and helping those do the same. I just wanted to share this tiny tale of success which I have had recently. I’m on my A game. Just as soon as this headache leaves me alone! 😉
What would you like to see from me?